Sportsmanship

My husband has been coaching for going on 11 years, and while he is still in the beginning part of his coaching career, some days it feels like he's been coaching forever. In those 11 years, I have seen him win big, lose big, scrape by, and narrowly miss that last touchdown. Even though I have, at times, had no idea what's going on (I'm getting better!), I love watching his players on the field. It makes me really proud when I see them do something great and I know that he had a part in that big play. I know a lot of time, commitment, film-watching, blood, sweat and tears goes into each and every down. It's very emotional, and it can't be easy to put in all that work and then walk away with a loss.

But in all of our 11 years, one thing I have been the most proud of is Coach's sportsmanship. He coaches with his whole heart, but he always coaches and lives his life with integrity. He said something to me after the Game the other night (a tough loss) that really stuck with me. "You have to coach with a certain assertiveness, but there's no room for disrespect. I try to just be nice. I think it goes a long way." I thought, after he said that, that he has always won with humility. He's not really a boastful person, and I feel like people respect him for that.

Unfortunately, not all coaches do win with humility. Fortunately, the coaches on our staff are not those people. Every single one of them sets a good example for their players, which is why I'm proud to watch Tiger football games. After the Game last week, I think Coach and his staff received a great opportunity for a teaching moment with their players on how to take a win humbly. Out of respect, I won't mention any specifics here, but Coach recently experienced a very poor display of sportsmanship when an opposing coach (who had just beaten our team) turnedand walked away instead of shaking my husband's hand in good sportsmanship. Coach was dumbfounded at first, but he handled it well. In the end, he is the bigger person, and that speaks louder than words to these young players; unfortunately, so do the actions of this other coach.

Coach has yet to win a game as a head coach (he's only one game in), but when he does taste victory, I know that he will shake the hands of everyone on the opposing team, look them in the eye, and with all sincerity tell them, "Good job." Because that is what good people do. It's what good coaches do. They set a good example for the young people on their teams and they set a standard for their coaching staff. I am proud of my husband every single day he steps on the gridiron, but I am never prouder than when he represents our little town and displays good Sportsmanship. Both good and bad displays of sportsmanship go such a long way, and people notice, either way. I know I do.

Commitment

I started this blog two years ago with the intent of writing in it to vent some of my frustrations about being the (sometimes single) wife of a coach. I kind of failed miserably... at the blogging part (hopefully not at the wife part - I think Coach could vouch for that). Here's the thing... I had no idea what being a Football Widow was all about. Two years ago when I started this blog, Coach was just an assistant, and I thought I knew what not having him around was like. This summer he was offered the job as the head coach of the team, and he accepted. I have a whole new respect now for what head coaches do. There is so much time involved that I had no idea about. My husband is literally running from the moment he wakes up (around 4:45 a.m.) until he goes to bed (around 10:30 or 11:00 p.m.). We have struggled with the time issue and I don't think we've quite got it down yet. The requirements of this new job have definitely thrown a curve ball at our family. 

How do you manage to keep the house clean & picked up, while getting the kids fed & put to bed at a decent hour, all while maintaining your sanity?

As the wife of a head high school coach, I cannot even begin to imagine the amout of time that college and professional coaches spend preparing for their game or games each week. I also cannot fathom the time that coaches of other sports, like basketball and soccer, spend. With football, there is one game to prepare for each week. Sometimes basketball and soccer teams are playing two or more games each week. As I watch Coach prepare for his game and practices each week, I am gaining so much respect for those who are coaching at higher levels or who are coaching sports that require a different time commitment. I also have a newfound respect for the wives (or husbands) of those people, as they become the Football (Basketball, Soccer) Widows from August until December or later. I have a hard time keeping it together through the beginning of November! I even have a friend who coaches college Basketball while his wife coaches college Softball. I do not know how they ever see each other. I have a lot of respect for how they manage their time.

So while I'm really an "amateur" in the whole Football Widow department, I want to continue writing down my thoughts anyway, for what they're worth. It helps keep me sane and, hopefully, will help me deal with this transition that I thought I was prepared for. There's so much power in having people around you that you can lean on (besides your spouse, who is also married to the Game). So I'm hoping that this will give me and others some of that much needed support. 

As always, I am open to comments and suggestions.